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Egg donation
Is There Still a Stigma Surrounding Egg Donation?
Egg donation is a complex and emotional journey for many individuals. With its own set of challenges, including the stigma attached to it, it may be hard to feel at ease while being in the process, or after.
In this article, we help you explore the world of misconceptions associated with egg donation, and show ways to navigate past societal pressures and stigma, as well as find a supportive community in this one-of-a-kind journey.
The stigma that surrounds egg donation stems from a variety of factors. When this question surfaces in a conversation, it definitely can raise a few eyebrows. So, why?
It goes without saying that people with little to no knowledge of assisted reproductive technologies may experience severe discomfort while being briefed on egg donation as one of the core treatment approaches. However, many patients already involved in infertility treatment consciously consider egg donation a complete “taboo” either. For them, there is only one way to the holy goal: to use own eggs and sperm, or to lose the most important fight.
How did it come that IVF with donor egg is deemed to be the least attractive fertility treatment option in the eyes of many, while using a surrogate mother or a donor sperm – another type of third-party reproduction – have fully made it to the list of socially acceptable solutions. Let’s raise awareness and see why this subject is so intensely triggering.
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“Complete pattern break”. Not using own DNA to have a baby “overthrows” the natural concept of motherhood. Having a genetic link means more than finally giving birth to a long-desired child, bonding with them and living a complete life
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“You are a failure”. Some are sure that resorting to donor egg means admitting one’s complete reproductive helplessness, inconsiderate approach to family planning and poor life choices made in the past. These people may shame those who do use donor eggs because they believe that you are intending to fix the “missed” opportunity problem at someone else’s expense
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“Just adopt”. Some wrongfully claim that the choice to use donor egg over adopting an orphaned child is immoral and careless
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“Woman’s biomaterial is not to for sale”. Many view egg donation as a no-go treatment solution due to their perception of the whole donor egg IVF concept as unethical. The eggs are not a commodity to be sold to those who are struggling to conceive. Any embryo has to be created only from own egg and sperm
Listening to various insensitive comments first-hand may cause a lot of internal disconcert and damage. The resulting stigmatization may lead to separation from the loved ones, self-judgment and shame. One can become less connected to friends and acquaintances. Due to these obvious concerns, the decision to receive donated eggs (or donate one’s own eggs) is frequently made in complete secrecy. And it is easy to understand why: barely anyone wants to face the mentioned repercussions.
You should remember that everyone’s way towards having a family is unique. There are those who have spent years to develop their career and businesses, as well as those diagnosed with depleted ovaries at a young age. It may take a lot of time and effort to accept one’s vulnerable condition and begin thinking of a having baby through IVF. You don’t need to make an excuse: It is normal!
The first step towards getting past egg donation stigma is to become partially open about.
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You should wait patiently for the right moment to share your decision with those you care about the most. You may want to wait till the beginning of the 2nd trimester so as not to jinx.
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There is no need to challenge those who obviously won’t bother considering your viewpoint. If you have a concern that the person may turn toxic, you should clearly limit their knowledge about your fertility journey. Protect your emotions at all costs!
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However, sometimes it is possible (and necessary) to make gentle steps towards making your close circle accept egg donation as a part of your personality and life strategy.
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By carefully speaking up about your decision to use donor eggs (or donate your own eggs), you will be able to come out of the closet and normalize your emotional state. You may want to look for caring communities online and ask how others succeeded in overcoming external reluctance.
If you can make people look at the process at various angles by sharing your story, you may eventually find yourself surrounded by educated individuals who understand and respect your choice. There is no need to feel guilty because of not meeting someone’s expectation.
Accepting a baby born with the help of a donor egg involves some complicated processing of all kinds of emotions, including fears that one’s love for a child will not outweigh emotions about the lack of genetic relatedness. You are not the first person handling all that! Please note the following:
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It has been already proven that the mother-child bonding is a multifactorial process that starts way before the baby leaves the uterus, and is extremely strong
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According to the recent studies, a child begins recognizing their mother’s voice almost immediately after being born. That means that, while still in the fetal stage, the future baby is already registering sounds and voices around them
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Research has also shown that the parent-child bond and similarity between a mother and her child is not determined solely by genetic kinship and mimicking parents’ reactions
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Epigenetic modifications occurring during pregnancy are an emerging area of scientific research and knowledge. This phenomenon involves changes in gene expression that are not caused by alterations in the DNA sequence itself, but by the body of a pregnant woman
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Right level of hormones, no stress and a sane and confident psychological state maintained during pregnancy are estimated to be very important during the further developmental stages, and affect the future baby’s psyche
Altogether, factors such as the mother's caregiving behaviors, emotional connection, and time spent together play a significant role in forming a strong bond. From our years of experience, we at NGC are completely sure: You won’t dwell on the subject egg donation after the baby is born. There will be neither need nor time for that, as you will be happy and fulfilled.
